One of the problems with human beings is the forgetting. I think if
youve passed the first gate in the Way, you have set to rest doubt in
your heart. But you have not necessarily set to rest forgetting. And
we forget so quickly. And when we forget we do not realise that this
hell realm too is pure and beautiful. So we start calling it hell,
and we start calling it an obstacle and a problem. And then anything
can become an attack. A sound can be a distraction instead of an
opening; pain somehow seems very thick and unassailable. We need in
some way to do zazen deeply enough so that we are pulled back almost
involuntarily to the Way when we fall out of it. Walking the Way is
sometimes called falling out of the Way.
Aitken Roshi came to visit recently in California and I asked him,
"What are you teaching these days?"
"Well, at the beginning I teach people breath counting," he said.
"You do?" I said. And he said, "I teach them to try not to get to
ten." I thought, "I will take up that path myself."
Always, this is it. If you think you have turned away from it, thats
not true: it is still here; it is always here. Lin-chi calls it this
solitary light, this lone light, before my eyes. It cant go anywhere;
it cant dim; you cant dispose of it down the sink; a disease cant take
it away from you; even losing your mind, even dementia, cant deprive
you of it. It is always here. In sesshin we can see that, and it
looks bright. If it does not look bright, then we just notice what it
does look like. And if we go into that, well sooner or later find it
is the brightness. If it is foggy and unclear, go into foggy and
unclear, and youll find it is there. If you have a pain in the body
or a tightness in the body, and you go into the pain or the tightness,
youll find something begins to shift and happen. Probably you will
panic. Then youll have panic. One thing is always arising after
anotherand we get stuck on trying to do the last thing. If we go into
the body, fear comes upwhich is just the ego having a thrillso then we
notice fear, but we keep trying to say, No, no, I want to get back to
the body. But how can we do that?Its fear. Then we have distraction,
but we want to have the fear there for a while.
A lot of teachers speak about fear. It is one of the common states,
one way or another, in Buddhism. Fear arises because when things
start to open up for us we really cant believe it. So we have to keep
coming up to the gate again and again, till we believe it. Its that
simple. Again and again we walk to the gate, and if we really observe
that path itself, that walking, the sheer joy, theres nothing wrong
with walking that for the rest of our lives. Still walking to the
gatefortunately. Thank you very much, I have no complaints.
So wherever we are, we just walk; we walk the road; and it unfolds in
great beauty. We get many different glimpses, and some glimpses have
a quality of irreversibility about them, and we give them fancy names,
like kensho or whatever. But really they are just another foot on the
road. When Yamada Roshi received his final transmission from Yasutani
Roshi, Yasutani Roshi said, Now your practice can begin. Yamada Roshi
then said this to Aitken Roshi. Aitken Roshi said this to me. And he
meant it! Just in case I thought I had started Zen, he was going to
clear up any illusions I had. The point is quite serious. Now it
begins. Each moment: Now it begins. And thats the great joy: that we
have entered something that can go on deepening and opening for as
long as we are still kicking and breathing. It is good to have
something that will be with you for as long as your are here. What a
gift. Many things will pass away and be taken from you, many things
you will become disgusted with, but this cannot be taken from you: you
never tire of the love of the Way.
If you want to get it, youve already got it, says Lin-chi. Its not
something that requires time. Its hard to conceive that: Its not
something that requires time. We are so used to patient cultivation
and careful development. Or even running full speedthat still
requires time. But it is already here, and everything we do really
just keeps us coming towards, circling towards, that truth. There is
nothing we need to do to fill the space in our lives, because there is
no space in our lives. It is here; eternity is already here. There
is nothing we need to do to extinguish the karma that we have brought
with us: everything is already here; we dont need to extinguish the
karma. There is no particular way we need to hold our mouths in order
to get enlightened, there is no particular state of mind we need, no
particular kind of automobile; its already here. This person, says
Lin-chi, is unimpeded at any point, but penetrates the ten directions,
free to do as she or he pleases in the world. No matter what
environment you may encounter with its peculiarities and differences
you cannot be swayed or pulled awry.
Sometimes we do well when things are going badly because it gets our
attention, but this is a dangerous way to live, because the Tao will
arrange our lives to go badly for us so that we can pay attention. We
can relax: we dont need to break our legs in order to walk the Tao.
We need to attend. Sometimes things are going well, so at that moment
we go to sleep. Its sometimes quite hard when deep in sesshin to
continue to wake up the Way, because everything is so peaceful. And
that is fine, but peacefulness is again just another state, so it is
always good when you are deep, deep, deep, to find a way to stay deep
and to keep walking. You dont have to wrench yourself out in order to
keep walking, but find a way to have both the depth and the continuity
of the journey. So that you dont just become a wooden Buddha sitting
there, rather blissful but rather stupidwhich we can do. The depth is
good and has a very healing force in the body, and in your heart as
well, but it is very important to keep going at this time. It is easy
just to forget.
.........................
, ne znaci i da ne kuzi ali ipak ako cemo o cenu onda treba traziti rijeci zen majstora.
Hibridni mod
